ShmoopTube

00:04

Shmoopin' the Bible….the Book of Esther.

00:07

Welcome back to Shmoopin' the Bible.

00:09

I'm Cecil B DeShmoop, and I sometimes use my religious studies degree as a paper airplane.

00:13

A very expensive paper airplane…

00:16

But enough about me. Let's jump right into the book of Esther.

00:19

So Esther and her cousin Mordecai are living in the Persian capital of Susa , part

00:23

of the Jewish population that was exiled by the Babylonians.

00:26

And it just so happens that the King of Persia is looking for a new queen.

00:31

But he's looking for some pretty specific things…

00:34

he wants a wife who's beautiful, a virgin, likes long walks on the beach, and shares

00:38

his love of squashed faced cats… if only he could figure out what to name them…

00:42

Enter Esther. Not only is she a beautiful virgin partial to beach-side strolls,

00:48

she happens to be a pro at naming cats.

00:50

So the King is like, "yup, she's a keeper," and Esther becomes part of his harem,

00:55

and eventually, his queen.

00:56

Oh, and just a little aside, probably won't ever come up or have any importance in this

01:01

story, but just in case…

01:02

Esther has been hiding the fact that she's Jewish.

01:06

So one day, Mordecai is hanging out by the palace gates, when he hears two eunuchs talking

01:10

about assassinating the king.

01:12

It's sort of comforting to know that all bad guys like loudly discussing their bad-guy

01:16

plots for anyone to hear. Helps me sleep soundly at night.

01:20

Anyway, Mordecai's like, "Hey, Esther, hope all is well with the King, how're the cats,

01:25

oh and by the way, someone's plotting to off your husband."

01:29

Esther's tells the king, and he's like, "How nice of him to inquire about my cats!

01:34

Also, that last part sounded bad, let's make sure that doesn't happen."

01:38

So the plot is foiled and Mordecai’s good deed is recorded in the king’s annals,

01:42

but that’s about all the thanks he gets.

01:44

That, and a personalized greeting card featuring the King's cat, Purrsia, saying,

01:49

"Thank mew purry meowch fur saving me from acattination!"

01:54

…Take that part with a grain of salt ...or a full silo of it.

01:57

So time goes by, and one day, the king’s head counselor, Haman ,

02:01

is taking a stroll through the city.

02:03

Everyone is supposed to bow to him, but Mordecai doesn’t because he's Jewish.

02:06

Haman is super understanding about it though...

02:08

He's just like, "Hey no problem, don't bow, that's totally fine.

02:12

I'll just have all the Jews in the kingdom executed and their wealth plundered."

02:16

And Mordecai is like, "I'm not sure you understand the meaning of the words "totally fine"…"

02:21

So Haman runs his plan by the king, and the king is like,

02:24

"Yeah, totally, man, I'm with you. Let's do it."

02:27

I like to think that his cats distracted him and he wasn't really listening to the plan…

02:31

I also like to think he had a bunch of Persian cats, but again, grains of salt.

02:36

Either way, the plan goes into effect.

02:37

On the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, every Jew is to be executed.

02:42

Mordecai is pretty upset when he hears the news, and is like, "I feel like this situation

02:47

went from zero to a hundred pretty quickly…can't I just do some pushups or something?"

02:53

So he goes to Esther and is like, "You're in a pretty good position to stop this whole

02:57

genocide thing, right? Maybe you could have a word with your husband?"

03:00

Esther is reluctant, but after some fasting and buying a bunch of new cat toys at Petco

03:05

to get on his good side, she goes to see the king.

03:08

He's super excited about the squeaky mice, and asks her what she wants.

03:11

She requests a banquet with him and Haman, and the king agrees.

03:15

They have a pretty swell time, and the king asks her if she wants anything else,

03:19

so she asks for another banquet the next night.

03:21

If you only take one thing away from this book, let it be this:

03:25

Esther was a lady who loved her banquets.

03:28

As for Haman, he leaves feeling pretty stoked. The banquet had those mini hotdog things,

03:33

and he's a sucker for those mini hotdog things.

03:35

Unfortunately, he runs into Mordecai again, who still refuses to bow to him.

03:39

Haman's like, "Okay, totally fine, your call,"

03:42

then orders a huge gallows built so he can execute Mordecai.

03:46

Mordecai is like, "Still don't think you get what "totally fine" means…"

03:50

Let’s leave that cliff hanger hanging for a second and check in on the king.

03:53

He's having trouble sleeping, so he has his servants make him some warm milk,

03:58

tuck him in with his plush kitten, and read to him from his annals.

04:02

They end up picking the story of Mordecai saving his life, and the king remembers that

04:06

he never really did anything nice to thank Mordecai.

04:09

Besides that super pawsome card, of course.

04:12

So the king is like, “Maybe the card wasn’t pawsome enough…”

04:15

and he decides to ask for a little guidance.

04:18

He finds Haman and asks what he should do for a person he wants to honor.

04:21

Haman's a real humble guy, and he figures the king must be talking about him…

04:24

So he spouts off some elaborate stuff about robes and leading him around on a horse and

04:28

making him mini hotdogs…

04:30

The king is like, "Perfect, got it. Now go do all of that for Mordecai.”

04:34

Presumably Haman is upset, but I’m sure the king made him a nice sympathy card.

04:39

Something like, “Pawdon me, nothing purrsonal.”

04:42

…Grain of salt.

04:43

So the second banquet rolls around, and remember that totally unimportant thing from earlier?

04:47

Well Esther finally decides to reveal all.

04:50

She tells the king that she’s Jewish, and asks him to save her people.

04:53

The king is like, “You buy cat treats and laugh at my cat puns, so sure!

04:58

No purrsuasion necessary, I’ll refurse the decree.”

05:02

And, for good measure, he executes Haman on the very same gallows Haman built to kill Mordecai.

05:07

Poetic justice if I’ve ever seen it.

05:09

Esther also asks the king if the Jewish people can take revenge on their enemies,

05:13

because it turns out…she’s pretty hardcore.

05:15

The king’s like, “Sure, and wow, am I easily persuaded!”,

05:19

and on the day after the Jews were supposed to be massacred, well…

05:22

they do a little massacring of their own.

05:25

The Jewish people end up resting on the fourteenth and fifteenth days of the month, because hey,

05:30

revenge is hard work, and Mordecai decides they should keep honoring these two days.

05:34

Presumably, everyone is like, “Great, slap an extra holiday on our Google calendars!”

05:39

And yes, Google was around back then.

05:41

These retellings are obviously 100% historically accurate.

05:44

We know because we have webcams from the action.

05:47

Thus, the Jewish holiday of Purim came into existence, and thus, the book of Esther comes to an end.

05:52

Though why there was never a sequel featuring the king and his cats, I’ll never know.

05:56

…Okay, maybe 95% historically accurate. But hey, Esther probably did love banquets.

06:01

Until next time, I’m Cecil B DeShmoop, and if you thought I wouldn’t end this on a

06:05

terrible cat pun, you’d be right.

06:07

…I’m ending it on a hissterical one.

Full Transcript