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Second Kings a la shmoop Cecil B Deshmoop here with another [Cecil sitting by fire]

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thrilling edition of shmoop in the Bible today we're talking about The Return of

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the King oh yeah I can see how that was

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misleading sorry yeah this has nothing to do with Lord of the Rings today is

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all about the second book of Kings well the book picks up where we left off with [King on the beach and Moby Dick appears]

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the death of King Ahab followed by the very brief reign of his son Ahaziah

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seriously very brief I've had bathroom visits that lasted longer yeah well the

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prophet Elijah predicts that Ahaziah won't last long and yep Elijah nails it

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Ahaziah falls off his lattice and never recovers from his injuries maybe [Ahaziah falls off lattice]

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we should have Elijah pick out a lotto numbers with us anyway after Ahaziah's

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death God decides to take Ellijah straight to heaven he ascends in a fiery

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chariot which probably urked everyone else ascending to heaven in like you

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know regular chariots or donkeys before Elijah makes his flashy exit he

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anoints Elisha as the new prophet well Elisha starts doing some pretty cool [Cecil discussing Elisha as prophet]

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things as the new prophet he helps out the Israelite armies feeds the hungry

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and even brings a boy back from the dead so cool creepy take your pick

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which is it oh and there's that little incident where a group of boys makes fun

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of him but Elisha totally keeps his cool he does what any guy who's totally good [Elisha walking in a field alone]

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at keeping his cool does and super casually summons two bears who calmly

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Maul and kill forty-two of the boys, it's not like he kills all of them that's restraint

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right there but even though he continues helping the Israelites win battles

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performing miracles and training bears in his spare time he can't stop the

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disaster that the Israelites are heading for someone calls Celine Dion or gonna [Celine Dion appears by ship]

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need a soundtrack for this see right now the Promised Land is split into two

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kingdoms Judah in the south and Israel in the north both are having some

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trouble following God although Judas kings are doing a little better up north [God discussing Israel]

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though you know things are pretty bad almost every king is worshiping multiple

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gods like Ba'al, Moloch and Wilson from castaway and that thing they're even

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worshiping sacred poles but it's not every king who decides pole worshipping

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is a solid plan throughout the course of the book good Kings do come into power

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but they're always succeeded by a bad king who undoes all of their good work

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well as you might imagine God is not a big fan of his chosen people worshiping

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other gods volleyballs or poles so what does that

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mean simple the Israelites are headed for a fall the Northern Kingdom of [Double Rainbow appears]

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Israel is destroyed by Assyria and as people are exiled

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however Judah is still intact down south well during this time a king named

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Hezekiah begins ruling in Judah and is like okay God I can take a hint he [Hezekiah riding a horse in Judah]

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destroys all the high places sacred poles magic volleyballs and

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altars to false gods okay so one of those things isn't necessarily true but

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you know he doesn't destroy the volleyball how else would it eventually

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go on to star opposite tom hanks all right but all this destruction doesn't

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stop the Assyrians they come knocking and unlike the Friendly Girl Scouts [Door knocks]

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whose only nefarious purpose is to destroy your waistline they're not so

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kind they want the entire kingdom of Judah and they also want you to buy a

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few boxes of Thin Mints if they sell the most for their troop they get to go to

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Space Camp the Assyrian King brags about all the other gods he's conquered and

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all the cookies he's sold and says that the god of the Israelites will be no

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different well luckily for the kingdom of Judah Hezekiah has been a pious King [Hezekiah on a horse and Israelites surround him]

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and he asked the prophet Isaiah and God for help God is like I got this but

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maybe ordered me a box or two of thinmints first I love those things so in the

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middle of the night the angel of destruction comes and kills 185 thousand

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Assyrian soldiers and buys two boxes of Thin Mints pretty much ending the threat

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I'm gonna skip past the rest of hezekiah reign and meet him again on his

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deathbed because I like to keep things cheerful and uplifting on shmoop in the bible

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Hezekiah is about to die but before he does God's like by the way the [Hezekiah on his death bed and God appears]

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Babylonians are going to destroy your kingdom because all those kings before

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you were the pits but don't worry they're gonna wait until you die because

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while you were super great so yeah maybe hallmark sympathy card writer isn't a

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viable career option for God but oh well can't do everything anyway Hezekiah dies

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and of course his son is a terrible king he rebuilds all the high places and

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sacred poles reinflates all the volleyballs and starts worshipping

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different gods like really did you not just see the angel of destruction

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anyway two kings later comes Josiah well Josiah finds the book of law which is [Josiah looking through a box]

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probably Deuteronomy and is like oops we're totally not following any of this

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though Josiah goes on a spree destroying the high places and sacred poles

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deflating the volleyball and killing wizards and false prophets and getting a [Josiah killing a wizard]

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bit of deja vu here how about you so Josiah goes on a spree destroying the

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high places and sacred poles deflating the volleyballs and killing wizards and

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false prophets all right want to take a guess at what the next king does bingo

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goes back to the polytheistic worshiping but this time gods like nope this is [God sitting in his office]

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getting old real fast this ends now while enter King Nebuchadnezzar of

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babylon with a big ol army he loots jerusalem and burns down the temple yeah [Nebuchadnezzar looting Jerusalem]

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The people that aren't taken to Babylon flee to Egypt and the

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kingdom of Judah is an empty shell of what it once was so there you have it

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the destruction of the temple in the kingdoms of Israel and Judah all because

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they wanted to worship some sacred poles instead of God and that's it for the

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second book of Kings do the Israelites ever get home? does God forgive them?

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does God like putting thin mints in the freezer as much as I do? well two of

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those questions will be answered in the next Shmoop in the Bible now if you'd

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excuse me I have an odd urge to watch cast away and eat Thin Mints until next [Cecil watching Cast Away with boxes of Thin Mints]

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time I'm Cecil B DeShmoop...Out.

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