ShmoopTube

Where Monty Python meets your 10th grade teacher.

Search Thousands of Shmoop Videos


CAHSEE Videos 392 videos

CAHSEE 1.2 Passage Drill
246 Views

CAHSEE 1.2 Passage Drill. Which of these sentences from the story best illustrates the sensitive side of the narrator's nature?

CAHSEE 1.3 Passage Drill
337 Views

CAHSEE 1.3 Passage Drill. Which of the following is the best way to express the meaning of the word alumni in this sentence?

CAHSEE 1.4 Passage Drill
210 Views

CAHSEE 1.4 Passage Drill. What does the use of flashbacks accomplish in "Graduation"?

See All

CAHSEE ELA 1.5 Writing Strategies 190 Views


Share It!


Description:

In this CAHSEE test question, figure out how to correct a section of the passage if any corrections are needed. CAHSEE ELA; Writing Strategies Drill 1, Problem 5

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:00

Sorry And here's your shmoop du jour brought to you

00:05

by santa claus Does that mean you're naughty or nice

00:10

checking appalling past And so grandma get Remember hearing one

00:19

fairy tales Thank you All right Which is the best

00:26

way to revise sentence seven This one right here and

00:31

here the potential answers clearly written Wears alright done Reading

00:39

let's Go All right Good editing isn't just about fixing

00:42

punctuation it's also about cutting out the unnecessary parts You

00:46

know like that Like an infected appendix Some sentences have

00:49

to go no matter how attached to them We are

00:52

sorry all right Choice and see both make a noble

00:55

effort to fix the awkwardness here but playing around with

00:58

punctuation ain't going to do the trick We can sprinkle

01:01

in semi colons commas or periods but at the end

01:03

of the day we're still left with an awkward sentence

01:05

that sounds too slangy for an essay And then we

01:09

have choice be well there's Nothing technically wrong here no

01:12

grammatical errors or anything like that Also by cutting out

01:16

the word like and separating the sentence with a period

01:19

this answer does make whole thing a little less awkward

01:22

Even though option b gets a lot of points in

01:24

our book it ultimately fails by committing the cardinal sin

01:27

of redundancy repeating itself saying the same thing over and

01:30

over and over and over again we never want our

01:32

essays to repeat the same information as soon as readers

01:35

get a whiff of redundancy Well that's when they stop

01:37

reading and start messaging around on their smartphones and check

01:41

out the new farmville three the revenge Both people play

01:44

it Lovett choice d wins the day by being the

01:47

only answer Brave enough to cut the second part of

01:49

the sentence altogether There are no grammatical mistakes here and

01:53

no redundancy Yes they still make sense and all is

01:56

well looks like we've got ourselves a fairy tale ending

02:00

the disney kind not the type where the kids were

02:02

chopped up and put in a pie like a soylent

02:04

green gray bold movie Ask your pain High card people

Related Videos

CAHSEE ELA 1.1 Writing Strategies
466 Views

CAHSEE ELA 1.1 Writing Strategies. Which of the following sentences, if placed before sentence 1, would be the most effective introductory sentence?

CAHSEE ELA 1.2 Writing Strategies
411 Views

CAHSEE ELA 1.2 Writing Strategies. Which of the following statements is supported by details or evidence from the student's draft?

CAHSEE ELA 1.3 Writing Strategies
197 Views

CAHSEE ELA 1.3 Writing Strategies. What is the best way to combine sentences 10 and 11?

CAHSEE ELA 1.4 Writing Strategies
192 Views

CAHSEE ELA 1.4 Writing Strategies. Which sentence would provide additional support that fairy tales were not intended to be ideal worlds?

CAHSEE ELA 2.1 Writing Strategies
190 Views

CAHSEE ELA 2.1 Writing Strategies. What is the most effective substitution for the underlined part of sentence 8?