ShmoopTube

00:03

All right sy writing shmoop er's working on a new

00:06

section here modifying phrases and clauses and logical transition so

00:10

well let's Just get down to it Not many adults

00:13

were swimming in the cold water of the lake but

00:15

several children splashed around in the shallows All right we're

00:19

going to rewrite this thing's starting with unlike the adults

00:23

comma dot dot dot All right so rewritten sentence starts

00:30

with the words unlike the adults here which means that

00:32

the next words need to describe who or what was

00:36

not like the adults Well that was more straightforward than

00:40

we thought it would be in this case the who

00:43

or what would be the children children of the corn

00:46

who in the wild bravery of youth are taking the

00:48

plunge into the cold water while the adults likely with

00:51

way more body fat stay think heartedly upon the shore

00:55

what several children were sets us up for a full

00:59

concise sentence so that's it it's de unlike the adult

01:03

several children were swimming yeti eta all right the wrong

01:06

bowl here while several children who almost works but it

01:10

doesn't set us up for a complete sentence The entire

01:13

excerpt is written in third person so don't go changing

01:16

point of view without consent like and be and then

01:19

when comparing the adults to the children the children need

01:21

to be the closest thing to the comma like aids

01:24

that's Why a doesn't work that's it it's the several 00:01:26.876 --> [endTime] children were shmoop

Full Transcript