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Texas EOC English 1: 2.6 Editing 173 Views


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Transcript

00:00

Thank you We sneak here's your shmoop du jour brought

00:05

to you by debt because nobody likes artists who only

00:09

swim in the shallow in ueno We've been there checking

00:12

the following passage were skimming quickly representational armament painting proportion

00:18

and realize anyone Can jackson moaning watery look because i'm

00:23

here No All right What is the best way to

00:29

rewrite sentence twenty and hear the potential answers All right

00:36

come on option d we know change can be scary

00:38

but in this case while it's necessary for one since

00:41

twenty is a run on sentence because it connects to

00:44

independent clauses without putting a comma before the conjunction and

00:50

secondly it's extremely convoluted and hard to understand this writer

00:53

would definitely never work for shmoop there's no way deacon

00:56

stay on the list option a can go to as

00:59

it isn't any better than the original sense In fact

01:01

this version is pretty convoluted on its own right make

01:04

matters worse it also forgets to put a comma before

01:07

which whenever we see the word witch there's a good

01:10

chance that we need to put a comma before it

01:12

because which usually introduces a non restrictive cloth Well these

01:17

air clauses that don't change the meaning of the sense

01:20

of their removed in this version of sense which introduces

01:24

a clause that gives us more info on what texture

01:27

is But these fun facts aren't totally essential so moving

01:31

on c doesn't work either As a matter of fact

01:33

this might be the worst version of the sentence yet

01:35

so let's dig deeper we don't technically need the comma

01:38

before the phrase and helps create death since it's not

01:42

an independent Klaus there's No subject in this phrase it's

01:45

just the verb create doing its own thing Beyond this

01:48

grammatical mistake the layout of the sense makes it hard

01:50

to understand texture is the thing that's creating debt Option

01:54

b is the only answer that gets it all right

01:56

It cures the original sentences case of the run on

01:59

by well you know not being a run on more

02:02

than anything This version is better organized with a clear

02:04

cause and effect It's Easy to understand how the brushstrokes

02:07

and thickness of paint add up to make texture which

02:11

then equals death So it turns out that already is

02:14

more like math And we thought so too bad by 00:02:17.415 --> [endTime] the numbers doesn't count

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