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Since Beowulf is called "Beowulf," it shouldn't be too surprising that it's about someone

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or something called "Beowulf." [Beowulf appears from below]

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But who – or what – is Beowulf? A warrior? A monster? A pet rock with a little smiley

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face drawn on it? [Pictures of the Cookie Monster and a rock appear]

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Haha. That'd be kind of cute.

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Well, unfortunately, Beowulf isn't a cute little rock. He's a heroic warrior. [Cross appears over the rock and a green circle appears over Beowulf]

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Before he even does anything in the story, we're told that, "of heroes then living, he was stoutest

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and strongest, sturdy and noble." [The quote is underlined in the book]

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In other words, he's pretty great, and could probably go toe-to-toe with The Rock. [Beowulf and a rock in a wrestling ring]

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Not that cute little rock. The Rock. [The Rock appears]

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Anyway, back to Beowulf. So something's up at Heorot Hall, the mead hall

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of King Hrothgar.

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And when we say "something's up," we don't mean the typical party fouls. Heorot Hall

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has bigger problems than glasses being used without coasters, or an over-abundance of [Balloons fill the hall]

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party balloons.

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We mean that the current party disturbed the local demon monster, Grendel. [Grendel complaining about the noise]

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However, rather than call the cops to make a noise complaint,

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Grendel takes matters into his own hands.

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One night, when all the warriors are in a sleepy, alcohol-induced stupor, Grendel attacks

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Heorot Hall. He kills thirty guys and takes their corpses back to his lair. [People screaming from inside the hall]

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Not exactly everyone's idea of a party, but hey, Grendel marches to the beat of his own drummer. [Grendel dragging a corpse away]

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In fact, Grendel had such a great time that first night, he attacks Heorot Hall again

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and again, until eventually Heorot Hall is abandoned. [Heorot Hall with the sign crossed out]

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And as any real estate agent will tell you, it's tough to move property when you've got

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monster problems.

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We're guessing King Hrothgar would have been ecstatic over just a rat infestation.

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News of Hrtothgar's Grendel troubles spread all over the world, all the way to Geatland ['The Geatland Times' with a story about Grendel]

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, home of the mighty Beowulf.

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Even though no one seems to be able to kill Grendel, Beowulf is like, "Pft, I could take

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on The Rock. Let's do this thing." So with fourteen trusty warriors, he sets out by boat for Denmark, [Beowulf and his warriors at sea]

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home of Hrothgar.

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Good thing he took a boat…imagine trying to get all those swords through airport security. [Beowulf being pinned down by security]

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Yeah not good.

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When he arrives in Denmark, Beowulf meets with Hrothgar, boasting about his awesome

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strength, and formally declares that he'll fight and kill Grendel.

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And, within the Germanic warrior culture of Beowulf and Hrothgar, that's a big deal. [Beowulf and Grendel in the wrestling ring]

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If Beowulf can make good on his boasts, and kill Grendel, he'll have proven himself a real hero. [Beowulf jumps on Grendel]

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If he doesn't make good on those boasts, well, he might prove himself a decent lunch. [Beowulf being cooked by Grendel]

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No matter what happens, one thing's for sure: this little rock needs his own story. [A pair a scissors vs a rock in the wrestling ring]

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Someone get a publisher on the phone.

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