The Girl with the Dragon Snafu
- Suddenly, John sees an omen—it's a woman. She is clothed with sun, the moon is under her feet, and she wears a crown of stars. Yawn.
- The woman is in the middle of giving birth and she's screaming in pain.
- Or she may be screaming at the sight of a huge red dragon—it appears with seven heads with crowns on each of them and ten horns.
- The Dragon heads over to the woman. He's planning to gobble her up once she finishes giving birth. How rude.
- The woman delivers a baby boy and it just so happens that he's going to rule all the nations of the world. He is promptly taken up into Heaven and the woman runs away before the Dragon can get his teeth around her. Close call.
This Means War
- Then war breaks out in Heaven.
- Michael the Archangel and his band of angel soldiers attack the Dragon and manage to throw him out of Heaven. So Heaven is good…
- But the Earth isn't so lucky. The Dragon lands down there and decides to wreak a little havoc.
- He finds the woman who gave birth to the son and chases after her. But she sprouts wings and flies away. Was she drinking too much Red Bull?
- Then he opens his mouth and floods the Earth, trying to drown her. But the Earth comes to her rescue and swallows up the water. Thanks, Earth.
- Okay, now the Dragon is really ticked.
- He decides to go off and attack the woman's other children—the followers of Jesus. Yikes. Watch out, guys!