How It All Goes Down
Chapter 1 (Abridged)
- Okay, so now we're into Buttercup's Baby, the sequel to The Princess Bride. And just like that, we turn to Chapter 1, which is simply titled, "Fezzik Dies." Oh no, he was our favorite. But how could this be possible? Surely Morgenstern will come up with another wild explanation for why Fezzik doesn't die.
- This chapter describes Fezzik chasing a character known only as the madman, who has stolen Buttercup and Westley's baby and is running with it up a mountainside. Fezzik keeps stumbling and almost falling, but he keeps on chasing. Finally, the madman turns and chucks the baby off the mountain. Fezzik dives into the air after it and catches the baby, and the episode ends with him falling through the sky.
- The next episode gives us a snippet from Inigo Montoya's life during the years that he was preparing to kill Count Rugen. During his training, he met and fell in love with a beautiful woman. But he ultimately had to leave her because he couldn't allow himself to focus on anything other than avenging his father's death.
- Then we get a rundown of what happened when Buttercup, Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik were fleeing from Prince Humperdinck at the end of The Princess Bride. When Humperdinck's forces close in on them, a bunch of Westley's old pirate buddies come charging out of the forests and fight off the Humperdinck crowd. Yay for friends. Humperdinck retreats for reinforcements, and while he's gone, the pirates load Westley and his crew onto their ship.
- When Westley and Inigo wake back up (they've fallen unconscious), the leader of the pirates tells them they'll have to leave the ship because Humperdinck's boats are catching up to them. They set out in a little boat toward One Tree Island, but not before going through a horrible whirlpool with all kinds of sharks swimming around it (because nothing can ever be easy for these folks). Luckily, Fezzik knows how to handle sharks.
- Once they're safe on the island, they all turn in for the night. It's at this moment that Buttercup chooses to remind Westley that all they've ever done is kiss (as lovers). Westley agrees, though he doesn't seem to understand that Buttercup is hinting at sex. Eventually, though, Buttercup makes him understand and the two of them have sex. Goldman tells us that this is probably the moment Buttercup became pregnant with the child they'd eventually have.
- They live on the island in peace until the baby is born. There are some complications with the birth, but somehow, some sort of spirit enters Fezzik's body and makes sure the delivery goes well. As Goldman admits, this part is really weird and not all that well explained.
- A baby girl comes into the world and Buttercup names her Waverly. Then we flash back to Fezzik falling through the air while grabbing Waverly. He spins in the air until he's underneath her, and he hopes that if he takes the full brunt of the fall and dies, Waverly might survive.
- At this point, Goldman breaks from the story one last time. He's hanging out with his grandson Willy and talking about Buttercup's Baby. Willy is convinced that there's no way Fezzik dies; Goldman just nods and walks with him.
- While they walk, Willy asks him all kinds of questions about plot holes in The Princess Bride, like what it was that invaded Fezzik's body when Buttercup was giving birth to Waverly.
- Goldman closes by saying that he doesn't really know what happens to Fezzik, but he's confident that Morgenstern would never have let him die. He ends the book by saying that some day, he hopes Morgenstern will let Westley and his people find the happiness they've always been looking for.