Quote 28
And then I Formulated a Plan. And that made me feel better because there was something in my head that had an order and a pattern and I just had to follow the instructions one after the other. (179.30)
Check out the way this is expressed. Making decisions as they come up doesn't work for Christopher. Instead, he gives himself a list of instructions, and then takes a step back and follows those instructions, essentially forgetting that <em>he's</em> the author. Is this, in a sense, denying himself free will?
Quote 29
And then the next train came I wasn't so scared any more because the sign said TRAIN APPROACHING so I knew it was going to happen. (227.8)
It might be just the way he expresses it, but once again, this quote suggests that it isn't simply that Christopher needs things to have an order to them, but that he needs to know about that order – to be a part of it, and in effect have some control over it. (We can only wonder what would happen if someone said, "Yes, Christopher, there is an order to the way this thing works. But we can't tell you what it is." If you ask us, that wouldn't really cut it.)
Quote 30
And the next morning I looked out of the window in the dining room to count the cars in the street to see whether it was going to be a Quite Good Day or a Good Day or a Super Good Day or a Black Day, but it wasn't like being on the bus to school because you could look out of the window for as long as you wanted and see as many cars as you wanted and I looked out of the window for three hours and I saw 5 red cars in a row and 4 yellow cars in a row which meant it was both a Good Day and a Black Day so the system meant it was both a Good Day and a Black Day so the system didn't work any more. (229.43)
Wow, this is a big moment. Christopher has been totally removed from all of the structure and routines that he had back in Swindon. Now, super far away in London, he looks out at the world and sees that the rules he has placed upon things (in order to order them, you might say) don't work anymore, and all along only existed in his own mind.