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Ares (Mars) 7903 Views
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Description:
When deciding which battlefield causes more pain—love or war—all we need to do is ask, WWAT? In other words, "What Would Ares Think?" We're all entitled to our own opinions, but only Ares is a bona fide expert in both types of battles...unfortunately for him.
Transcript
- 00:04
Ares, a la Shmoop.
- 00:07
Yo, peeps. My name is Ares, god of war. But I'm sure you knew that already.
- 00:13
Who else is this ruggedly handsome? Who else has this many sexy battle scars?
- 00:18
Who else is this unbelievably ripped?
- 00:23
Well better not say Heracles or Adonis, or you'll have to deal with the guns.
Full Transcript
- 00:29
A lot of you have probably seen this video on Youtube...
- 00:31
Yep, that's me with Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty. She lives up to her reputation.
- 00:36
Am I right, fellas?
- 00:38
For some idiotic reason, her lame, lumpy husband Hephaestus <<huh-FESS-tiss>>
- 00:42
thought this video would embarrass us.
- 00:48
When that busybody Helios <<HEE-lee-ose>> tipped him off that me and Aphrodite were
- 00:52
having an affair, he came up with the stupid idea to catch us in the act
- 00:56
by engineering an inescapable golden net.
- 01:03
Sure, he did succeed in catching us at it, but that wasn't too hard since we spent
- 01:07
most of our free time that way. If you know what we mean.
- 01:11
But posting the video on Youtube only embarrassed him.
- 01:15
I mean, what do I have to be ashamed of?
- 01:17
Do you guys see this girl?
- 01:20
Now everybody just sees Hephaestus as the guy who can't control his own wife,
- 01:24
and they see me as the major stud that I am.
- 01:27
I have to say I almost feel bad for the guy.
- 01:31
Next time I catch him crying in a corner, I might not
- 01:34
post a video of the pathetic sight.
- 01:36
No, I'm lying. I'll totally post it.
- 01:40
Now some of you may be saying, "Oh, Ares, you're so brutal."
- 01:43
To those of you, I say...
- 01:45
...I'm the god of war. War is brutal.
- 01:48
The more brutal the better in my opinion.
- 01:50
You think you can win a war by being kind? Yeah, right.
- 01:54
You have to be hardcore.
- 01:56
You have to take no prisoners.
- 01:59
The same thing is true with relationships.
- 02:01
You know Pat Benatar? Ask your parents about her.
- 02:04
"Love is a battlefield."
- 02:07
Alright, all's fair in love and war. Since Aphrodite is love and I'm war, anything goes. Anything--
- 02:13
What's that? Aphrodite's with whom?
- 02:15
Adonis?
- 02:16
T-t-t-t-that can't be right.
- 02:19
How? How could she do this to me? How could she...?
- 02:22
Ha, fooled ya. You thought I was going to cry, didn't ya...
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