Quote 1
Edna had once told Madame Ratignolle that she would never sacrifice herself for her children, or for any one. Then had followed a rather heated argument; the two women did not appear to understand each other or to be talking the same language. Edna tried to appease her friend, to explain.
"I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give my life for my children; but I wouldn't give myself. I can't make it more clear; it's only something which I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me."
"I don't know what you would call the essential, or what you mean by the unessential," said Madame Ratignolle, cheerfully; "but a woman who would give her life for her children could do no more than that--your Bible tells you so. I'm sure I couldn't do more than that."
"Oh, yes you could!" laughed Edna. (16.10-13)
There is a certain portion of Edna’s identity – let’s call it the "essential" – which Edna argues belongs only to herself, and that she would never give it up for anyone, not even her children. What is the "essential" part of Edna?
Quote 2
"I feel like painting," answered Edna. "Perhaps I shan't always feel like it."
"Then in God's name paint! but don't let the family go to the devil. There's Madame Ratignolle; because she keeps up her music, she doesn't let everything else go to chaos. And she's more of a musician than you are a painter."
"She isn't a musician, and I'm not a painter. It isn't on account of painting that I let things go."
"On account of what, then?"
"Oh! I don't know. Let me alone; you bother me." (19.4-8)
By choosing to develop her talent at painting, Edna consciously breaks from her expected role as a housekeeper. Her neglect of household duties isn’t about a sudden preference for painting, but rather a sudden preference for independence.
Quote 3
"Some way I don't feel moved to speak of things that trouble me. Don't think I am ungrateful or that I don't appreciate your sympathy. There are periods of despondency and suffering which take possession of me. But I don't want anything but my own way. That is wanting a good deal, of course, when you have to trample upon the lives, the hearts, the prejudices of others--but no matter-still, I shouldn't want to trample upon the little lives. Oh! I don't know what I'm saying, Doctor. Good night. Don't blame me for anything." (38.12)
Basically, Edna wants her personal happiness without being blamed for the consequences. She doesn’t want to hurt her children, but this quote seems to make it clear that she will hurt them if means securing her own happiness.