Much Ado About Nothing: Act 5, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 5, Scene 2 of Much Ado About Nothing from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Benedick and Margaret. BENEDICK Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands by helping me to the speech of Beatrice. MARGARET Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty? 5 BENEDICK In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come over it, for in most comely truth thou deservest it. MARGARET To have no man come over me? Why, shall I always keep below stairs? 10 BENEDICK Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound’s mouth; it catches. MARGARET And yours as blunt as the fencer’s foils, which hit but hurt not. BENEDICK A most manly wit, Margaret; it will not hurt 15 a woman. And so, I pray thee, call Beatrice. I give thee the bucklers. MARGARET Give us the swords; we have bucklers of our own. BENEDICK If you use them, Margaret, you must put in 20 the pikes with a vice, and they are dangerous weapons for maids.	In Leonato’s orchard, Benedick jokes with Margaret, asking her to help him write love poems to Beatrice. Margaret suggests that if she does, he should then write a poem in praise of her (Margaret's) beauty. Benedick says he'll write something so wonderful no man will ever be able to top it, which Margaret turns into a sexual innuendo. ("No man atop me?") They jest back and forth for a bit, with Margaret continuing to turn everything into a sexual pun—she takes "bucklers," the word for a shield with a spike in the middle, to mean "vaginas." It's like a scene out of Animal House.
MARGARET Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think hath legs. BENEDICK And therefore will come. 25 Margaret exits. Sings "The god of love That sits above, And knows me, and knows me, How pitiful I deserve—" I mean in singing. But in loving, Leander the good 30 swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and a whole book full of these quondam carpetmongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned over and over as my poor self in love. Marry, 35 I cannot show it in rhyme. I have tried. I can find out no rhyme to “lady” but “baby”—an innocent rhyme; for “scorn,” “horn”—a hard rhyme; for “school,” “fool”—a babbling rhyme; very ominous endings. No, I was not born under a rhyming 40 planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms. Enter Beatrice. Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee?	Margaret leaves to get Beatrice, and we get a sampling of Benedick's mad (read: bad) poetry skills. Benedick says he loves more fiercely than Leander, Troilus, and all the great heroes of love epics, but he doesn’t seem to have quite the same ability with romantic words as they did. He can only rhyme "scorn" with "horn," "school" with "fool," and so on. His inability with words on the page is rather funny, given how quick he is in his speech. Benedick gives up on writing silly poetry in the Renaissance style, when Beatrice arrives.
BEATRICE Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me. BENEDICK O, stay but till then! 45 BEATRICE “Then” is spoken. Fare you well now. And yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came, which is, with knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio. BENEDICK Only foul words, and thereupon I will kiss 50 thee. BEATRICE Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome. Therefore I will depart unkissed. BENEDICK Thou hast frighted the word out of his right 55 sense, so forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge, and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And I pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love 60 with me? BEATRICE For them all together, which maintained so politic a state of evil that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? 65 BENEDICK Suffer love! A good epithet. I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will. BEATRICE In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart, if you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours, for I will never love that which my friend 70 hates. BENEDICK Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. BEATRICE It appears not in this confession. There’s not one wise man among twenty that will praise himself. 75 BENEDICK An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the time of good neighbors. If a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument than the bell rings and the widow weeps. 80 BEATRICE And how long is that, think you? BENEDICK Question: why, an hour in clamor and a quarter in rheum. Therefore is it most expedient for the wise, if Don Worm, his conscience, find no impediment to the contrary, to be the trumpet of 85 his own virtues, as I am to myself. So much for praising myself, who, I myself will bear witness, is praiseworthy. And now tell me, how doth your cousin? BEATRICE Very ill. 90 BENEDICK And how do you? BEATRICE Very ill, too. BENEDICK Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I leave you too, for here comes one in haste.	Benedick is pleased that Beatrice came when he called her, and she says that she'll gladly stay until he tells her to go. Then she teases him by suggesting that he's told her to leave when he hasn't. It's kind of a cute little dance they're doing to confirm that they like each other. They get to the meat of the matter when Beatrice asks what happened with Claudio. Benedick says he went through with his promise, and now he's just waiting for Claudio’s answer to his formal physical challenge, American Gladiator style. The two then degenerate into love babble about who loves who, and how, but they do maintain their previous character by being kind of affectionately mean with each other. Benedick says he loves Beatrice against his will. Benedick says the two of them are too smart to flirt without challenging one another, but Beatrice says he can't possibly be wise because wise men never have to tell people they're wise. Benedick finally asks after the supposedly dead Hero, who Beatrice says isn't doing well. Beatrice says she's not so hot, either, and Benedick tells her his love with help heal her.
Enter Ursula. URSULA Madam, you must come to your uncle. Yonder’s 95 old coil at home. It is proved my Lady Hero hath been falsely accused, the Prince and Claudio mightily abused, and Don John is the author of all, who is fled and gone. Will you come presently? Ursula exits. BEATRICE Will you go hear this news, signior? 100 BENEDICK I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes—and, moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s. They exit.	Ursula rushes in with great news. It has just been discovered that Hero was falsely accused, Claudio and Don Pedro were misled, and Don John is to blame for it all. She asks Beatrice to come to Leonato's house immediately, and Beatrice asks Benedick to come along. Benedick says he'll happily go with her everywhere, always, and manages to get in a sex joke, too (the reference to dying in her lap). He's a true Shakespearean hero.

Original Text

Translated Text

Enter Benedick and Margaret.

BENEDICK Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve
well at my hands by helping me to the speech of
Beatrice.

MARGARET Will you then write me a sonnet in praise
of my beauty? 5

BENEDICK In so high a style, Margaret, that no man
living shall come over it, for in most comely truth
thou deservest it.

MARGARET To have no man come over me? Why, shall I
always keep below stairs? 10

BENEDICK Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound’s
mouth; it catches.

MARGARET And yours as blunt as the fencer’s foils,
which hit but hurt not.

BENEDICK A most manly wit, Margaret; it will not hurt 15
a woman. And so, I pray thee, call Beatrice. I give
thee the bucklers.

MARGARET Give us the swords; we have bucklers of our
own.

BENEDICK If you use them, Margaret, you must put in 20
the pikes with a vice, and they are dangerous
weapons for maids.

In Leonato’s orchard, Benedick jokes with Margaret, asking her to help him write love poems to Beatrice. Margaret suggests that if she does, he should then write a poem in praise of her (Margaret's) beauty.

Benedick says he'll write something so wonderful no man will ever be able to top it, which Margaret turns into a sexual innuendo. ("No man atop me?")

They jest back and forth for a bit, with Margaret continuing to turn everything into a sexual pun—she takes "bucklers," the word for a shield with a spike in the middle, to mean "vaginas." It's like a scene out of Animal House.

MARGARET Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I
think hath legs.

BENEDICK And therefore will come. 25

Margaret exits.

Sings

"The god of love
That sits above,
And knows me, and knows me,
How pitiful I deserve—"

I mean in singing. But in loving, Leander the good 30
swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and
a whole book full of these quondam carpetmongers,
whose names yet run smoothly in the even
road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly
turned over and over as my poor self in love. Marry, 35
I cannot show it in rhyme. I have tried. I can find out
no rhyme to “lady” but “baby”—an innocent
rhyme; for “scorn,” “horn”—a hard rhyme; for
“school,” “fool”—a babbling rhyme; very ominous
endings. No, I was not born under a rhyming 40
planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms.

Enter Beatrice.

Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called
thee?

Margaret leaves to get Beatrice, and we get a sampling of Benedick's mad (read: bad) poetry skills.

Benedick says he loves more fiercely than Leander, Troilus, and all the great heroes of love epics, but he doesn’t seem to have quite the same ability with romantic words as they did.

He can only rhyme "scorn" with "horn," "school" with "fool," and so on. His inability with words on the page is rather funny, given how quick he is in his speech.

Benedick gives up on writing silly poetry in the Renaissance style, when Beatrice arrives.

BEATRICE Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me.

BENEDICK O, stay but till then! 45

BEATRICE “Then” is spoken. Fare you well now. And
yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came, which is,
with knowing what hath passed between you and
Claudio.

BENEDICK Only foul words, and thereupon I will kiss 50
thee.

BEATRICE Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is
but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome. Therefore
I will depart unkissed.

BENEDICK Thou hast frighted the word out of his right 55
sense, so forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee
plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge, and either
I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe
him a coward. And I pray thee now tell me, for
which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love 60
with me?

BEATRICE For them all together, which maintained so
politic a state of evil that they will not admit any
good part to intermingle with them. But for which
of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? 65

BENEDICK Suffer love! A good epithet. I do suffer love
indeed, for I love thee against my will.

BEATRICE In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor
heart, if you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for
yours, for I will never love that which my friend 70
hates.

BENEDICK Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.

BEATRICE It appears not in this confession. There’s not
one wise man among twenty that will praise
himself. 75

BENEDICK An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived
in the time of good neighbors. If a man do not erect
in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no
longer in monument than the bell rings and the
widow weeps. 80

BEATRICE And how long is that, think you?

BENEDICK Question: why, an hour in clamor and a
quarter in rheum. Therefore is it most expedient for
the wise, if Don Worm, his conscience, find no
impediment to the contrary, to be the trumpet of 85
his own virtues, as I am to myself. So much for
praising myself, who, I myself will bear witness, is
praiseworthy. And now tell me, how doth your
cousin?

BEATRICE Very ill. 90

BENEDICK And how do you?

BEATRICE Very ill, too.

BENEDICK Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I
leave you too, for here comes one in haste.

Benedick is pleased that Beatrice came when he called her, and she says that she'll gladly stay until he tells her to go. Then she teases him by suggesting that he's told her to leave when he hasn't. It's kind of a cute little dance they're doing to confirm that they like each other.

They get to the meat of the matter when Beatrice asks what happened with Claudio.

Benedick says he went through with his promise, and now he's just waiting for Claudio’s answer to his formal physical challenge, American Gladiator style.

The two then degenerate into love babble about who loves who, and how, but they do maintain their previous character by being kind of affectionately mean with each other.

Benedick says he loves Beatrice against his will.

Benedick says the two of them are too smart to flirt without challenging one another, but Beatrice says he can't possibly be wise because wise men never have to tell people they're wise.

Benedick finally asks after the supposedly dead Hero, who Beatrice says isn't doing well. Beatrice says she's not so hot, either, and Benedick tells her his love with help heal her.

Enter Ursula.

URSULA Madam, you must come to your uncle. Yonder’s 95
old coil at home. It is proved my Lady Hero
hath been falsely accused, the Prince and Claudio
mightily abused, and Don John is the author of all,
who is fled and gone. Will you come presently?

Ursula exits.

BEATRICE Will you go hear this news, signior? 100

BENEDICK I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be
buried in thy eyes—and, moreover, I will go with
thee to thy uncle’s.

They exit.

Ursula rushes in with great news. It has just been discovered that Hero was falsely accused, Claudio and Don Pedro were misled, and Don John is to blame for it all.

She asks Beatrice to come to Leonato's house immediately, and Beatrice asks Benedick to come along.

Benedick says he'll happily go with her everywhere, always, and manages to get in a sex joke, too (the reference to dying in her lap). He's a true Shakespearean hero.

Much Ado About Nothing: Act 5, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 5, Scene 2 of Much Ado About Nothing from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

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