Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That all that part of the territory of the United States included within the following limits, except such portions thereof as are hereinafter expressly exempted from the operations of this act, to wit: beginning at a point in the Missouri River where the fortieth parallel of north latitude crosses the same; then west on said parallel to the east boundary of the Territory of Utah, the summit of the Rocky Mountains; thence on said summit northwest to the forty-ninth parallel of north latitude; thence east on said parallel to the western boundary of the territory of Minnesota; thence southward on said boundary to the Missouri River; thence down the main channel of said river to the place of beginning, be, and the same is hereby, created into a temporary government by the name of the Territory Nebraska; and when admitted as a State or States, the said Territory or any portion of the same, shall be received into the Union with without slavery, as their constitution may prescribe at the time of the admission: Provided, That nothing in this act contained shall be construed to inhibit the government of the United States from dividing said Territory into two or more Territories, in such manner and at such time as Congress shall deem convenient and proper, or from attaching a portion of said Territory to any other State or Territory of the United States: Provided further, That nothing in this act contained shall be construed to impair the rights of person or property now pertaining the Indians in said Territory' so long as such rights shall remain unextinguished by treaty between the United States and such Indians, or include any territory which, by treaty with any Indian tribe, is not, without the consent of said tribe, to be included within the territorial line or jurisdiction of any State or Territory; but all such territory shall excepted out of the boundaries, and constitute no part of the Territory of Nebraska, until said tribe shall signify their assent to the President of the United States to be included within the said Territory of Nebraska or to affect the authority of the government of the United States make any regulations respecting such Indians, their lands, property, or other rights, by treaty, law, or otherwise, which it would have been competent to the government to make if this act had never passed. (1.1)

Every five-paragraph essay writer worth his or her salt knows that the first paragraph is crucial. It's the introduction; the set-up; the overview that lets readers know what the whole essay is about.

Turns out Congress must have missed the memo on the importance of a solid intro paragraph, because the Kansas-Nebraska Act has no such thing. It just launches right into the deets of the new Nebraska Territory, paying no mind to curious readers itching to know what this act is all about before they dive in.

Why would they do this? Were they trying to write a real cliffhanger, one that would have readers biting their fingernails, anxiously trying to guess what drama and adventure the next section might hold?

Um, probably not.

Probably, they were just doing what legislators do: make laws.

And really, when we're in the business of making laws, especially big, juicy, important laws like the Kansas-Nebraska Act, there's not a lot of time for the frivolity of a catchy introduction.

But don't worry, there's plenty of fun and excitement (um, sorta?) in each of the thirty-seven sections of this Act, even without any kind of prologue whatsoever.

To paraphrase The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, they don't need no stinkin' introduction.