Basic Information
Name: Adolf Hitler
Nicknames: Mein Führer, the Reason Nobody Names Their Kid Adolf, the Worst Man Ever
Born: April 20th, 1889
Died: April 30th, 1945
Nationality: German (Eventually)
Hometown: Braunau am Inn, Austria-Hungary
WORK & EDUCATION
Occupation: Chancellor and Leader of Nazi Germany
Education: Minimal
FAMILY & FRIENDS
Parents: Alois Hitler, Klara Pölzl
Siblings: Alois Jr., Angela, Gustav, Ida, Otto, Edmund
Spouse: Eva Braun
Children: None
Friends: Nazis, Fascists
Foes: Anyone and Everyone Who Wasn't a Fascist
Analysis
Yep, It's Time to Talk About Hitler
All right. Deep breath. Here we go.
Adolf Hitler is, hands down, one of the most notorious figures in history. Often credited with being the main instigator of World War II, he created a fascist regime that ferociously surged across Europe in the middle of the 20th century. He sought to redraw the map of the world, with Germany at its all-powerful center, and vowed to stop at nothing to achieve his maniacal goal.
Oh, and the dude also had a pretty disgusting-looking mustache.
And even though we're pretty sure you know where this story is going, we're going to break it down here.
A Guy Who Was Really Into War
Originating from a small town in the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Hitler came of age at the onset of World War I while living in Munich. An enthusiastic member of the Bavarian army, his time in battle stoked the fires of his adopted German patriotism.
Following Germany's thorough defeat in World War I, Hitler entered politics. Soon, he was operating with influence among the ultra-conservative circles of Munich, and he became a very active member of the National Socialist German Workers' Party (or Nazi Party). He even designed their logo—a swastika placed within a white circle surrounded by a bright red color field. You know the heinous thing. (Source)
Hitler was a huge fan of Italy's fascist tactics, policies, and public demonstrations, and on November 8th, 1923, he attempted a coup à la Mussolini. Now called the "Beer Hall Putsch," his plan to seize governmental control of Bavaria (and eventually the entire country) failed badly.
Bad News
Though the putsch was a blow to his political career, Hitler bounced back in the 1930s. The stock market crash in the United States negatively impacted Germany's economy, which was still recovering from the aftereffects of World War I. Hitler's national socialist political agenda appealed to many who felt hopeless about and frustrated with their dire economic conditions—basically, people were desperate enough to fall for the "you need a strong leader" line. (Source)
Within the first years of the new decade, he'd become a well-known public figure across the country and an established political personality. Everybody and their grandma could pick that ratty little mustache out of a lineup.
Hitler eventually came to power as chancellor of Germany in 1933. Within a year, he had acquired full control of Germany and transformed the government into a dictatorship. Nazism spread throughout the land, transforming the country into a fascist state. By the end of the decade, Germany would be one of the most powerful war machines to ever attack the continent.
More Bad News
Under the direction of Hitler, German forces invaded Poland in 1939, prompting Great Britain and France to declare war. A year later, Germany would capture France, align itself with Mussolini's fascist Italy, and establish allegiance with Imperial Japan under the Tripartite Pact, officially extending World War II to the farthest shores of the Eastern Hemisphere.
In December 1941, the United States joined the war after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Banding together with Great Britain (and eventually the USSR), the United States helped deliver victory over Germany on May 8th, 1945.
End of an Evil Empire
Hitler himself committed suicide in his bunker in Berlin as the Soviet army advanced on the capital city, ensuring defeat.
With Hitler's death came the end of a fascist regime that was based on concepts of extreme racism, anti-Semitism, and overall hatred. The monstrous human rights violations conducted by the Nazis—you know, the Holocaust—were innumerable, and at times unspeakable.
It is a legacy that haunts Germany, and the world, to this day.
Ugh. History is bleak. Here's a video documenting the friendship between a cat and a sloth, just so you can get through the rest of the day.