Context

Written by Robert T. Hartmann in the Inauguration speech delivered by Gerald Ford, September 9, 1974.

Once upon a time, in the land of painted ponies and granted wishes—no wait, that's the wrong fairytale. Let's see. What storyteller are we talking about? Disney… Henson… Spielberg? Ah, got it—Grimm. 

Once upon a time (1972), in a hotel called Watergate, a few amateur room-buggers left a trail of breadcrumbs that led from the hotel to President Richard Nixon, which then led to his resignation. It also led to a suspenseful book/movie called All the President's Men and a shadowy figure named "Deep Throat." The nation was so riveted by this soap opera that it forgot to watch As the World Turns for a whole year.

In addition to our normal Ghostbusters-type disasters of biblical proportions ("Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria."), we had a President who seemed to be a crook saying, "I am not a crook." 

Gerald Ford, the next president, figured we were overwhelmed with too much bad news, so he pardoned Nixon and announced that the nightmare was over. Yeah… maybe we should have asked for an extended warranty on that.

Where you've heard it

You read a tabloid headline: Our Long National Nightmare is Over! You think, "Oh good… um, which one?"

Additional Notable References

• A video of the President Ford saying the quote.
• A spoof that uses the term.

Pretentious Factor

If you were to drop this quote at a dinner party, would you get an in-unison "awww" or would everyone roll their eyes and never invite you back? Here it is, on a scale of 1-10.

Corruption in politics? That's been around since the caveman first said "Aye" (or was it "Nay"?). And we'll take it with us when we colonize a new planet. If you say, "Our long national nightmare is over," we'll think, "Yep, that's about as real as that land of painted ponies and granted wishes." You're not telling us anything we haven't heard over… and over… and over again.