College 101
Common App 4: Problem-Solving
The Prompt
Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma—anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
The Essay
Intro
I have a scar above my left eyebrow from when I fell from a tree when I was five years old. I landed face-first on a particularly pointy rock. Now, you're probably thinking, "Where were this kid's parents?!"
Oh, my dad was nearby, sipping on a Corona in a lawn chair (as he does). Once I saw the blood, I bawled my eyes out. My dad, on the other hand, calmly walked over, examined my wound, and told me it was just a small cut, which it absolutely was (the branch I fell from was only five feet high). To make me feel like I wasn't overreacting, my dad butterfly-stitched my bloody face with two Band-Aids.
If my five-year-old had fallen from a tree onto their face, I would have rushed them to a hospital. I would have dramatically held them in my arms in the waiting room while quietly sobbing about the oh-so-real possibility of a concussion, infection, or brain tumor.
You know, I probably wouldn't have let them climb the tree in the first place.
My dad's the complete opposite. He hardly ever stresses out. He's cool, calm, and collected. And in my junior year, he had to spend a few nights in the hospital due to high blood pressure.
Body
They said the cause was most likely stress. Stress from what? I thought to myself. He was a stay-at-home dad. For the most part, he takes it easy, eats healthy, exercises regularly, and doesn't have anger issues. There really wasn't a reason for him to be stressed out, let alone have high blood pressure due to stress, but he did.
I was very distracted when he spent those couple of days in the hospital. I struggled with my homework, I was distant, and I wasn't eating very well. The medical issue my father had was so common. It could also kill him. How could we not know the cause of the stress? I thought about this extensively. It felt completely hopeless.
I snapped out of it once I figured out what I could do about it. In the face of adversity, the worst a person can do is dwell. I was stuck on the hopelessness of the situation. The solution? Become a doctor, of course.
Okay, easier said than done. That goes without saying. Still, I couldn't help but feel that there was something I could do about it, so at that moment, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. I enrolled in a few extra classes at my community college. Now, if all goes according to plan, I could get a Bachelor's in pre-med in as little as two years.
Conclusion
I still have no clue how my dad has high blood pressure due to stress. My general classes didn't teach me any of that. What I do know is that I'm my father's daughter, and I'll most likely have the same medical issues. If I stress so much about stressing out, I know I'll be dead before my dad, who I'm sure will live to be a hundred at least.
That's why I'm writing this personal statement.
Why This Essay Works
The key to making this personal statement work is focus. It's all about spending enough time talking about the right things, not leaving anything out, and not getting too far off track.
In the introduction, we meet the writer's father. He's basically her foil. He's calm and laidback, she's neurotic and controlling. This lays the foundation for her to answer the prompt. The thesis comes a bit later than expected, and the conclusion ends rather abruptly, but what else is there to say?
The body paragraphs tell the story introduces what exactly the problem is: her father has high blood pressure due to stress and doesn't know why. This essay's all about how the writer coped with that problem and what solution they came up with.
It's a personal statement, so while focusing on solving a problem to answer the prompt is important, what's more important is the writer talking about herself and her personal development.
In the beginning, the essay discusses her dad. In the end, it's about her.